Huang Yixi Vicson

Date : Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Time : 11:24 pm

the worst I've felt these two weeks
the words, the statement that was made
does it carry any truth in it
I choose to believe.
I choose to trust you.
but now it's just so hard, so difficult

deep inside of me, I'm still holding on
I still know how I feel, and its a fact
It's still you.

Date : Thursday, August 20, 2009
Time : 2:10 am

my macbook pro is screwing up on me, yet again
pretty much sure its the same problem as the previous time
sigh

sending it for repair?
brings back memories

I sure hope you're really doing your work
sometimes I really wonder why do I bother so much

Everyday has been a struggle for me
the need to keep myself occupied.

):

Date : Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Time : 11:13 pm

now I know why it was said that being a photographer as a profession is expensive.
I just sent 4 rolls of film for development.
come this weekend,
there goes $50
but the challenge that shooting on film offers
is just so hard to resist.

Date :
Time : 4:27 pm

I am not blind
lessons not learnt from the other time?

am I just going to take it as if nothing happened?
or am I going to do something about it?

Date :
Time : 4:18 pm

is there really no one that I no longer trust?

right from the beginning
you guys wanted it your way
and this is what you got
blame no one
but I guess I know who is taking all the blame now

the whole situation just got pulled into a different dimension altogether

Date : Monday, August 17, 2009
Time : 10:12 pm

probably the only two things that made my day today;
- the short 2-3 mins at the lift lobby
- confirmation that I can be the photographer for this year's Chinese Anglican Youth Camp, again.

just that I've got to decide to I'm going to skip like 3-5 days of school or not;
thats all that is stopping me from taking it as a 100% yes.
hopefully Clement is okay with it and prolly can work something out.

Date :
Time : 9:06 pm

so this was how my birthday was celebrated
can the next three hours please be good to me?
please?
only three hours of the the 24 that was given to me?

sigh

Date :
Time : 12:29 pm

can everything today be perfect?
please.

it has only been 12 hours
and it has been too much already.

Date :
Time : 11:55 am

one tells me that my birthday is supposed to be spent with my mum
one tells me that school work is more important, so settle school work first

why cant I just celebrate it with the whole family?

Date :
Time : 11:38 am

okay
I'm pretty much sure its my birthday today

guess what
I'm all alone now
It does not feel like its my birthday
My mind's in a blank.

Date :
Time : 3:23 am

4am
(:

Date : Sunday, August 16, 2009
Time : 11:59 pm

spending the last day of my 19th year,
getting irritated and frustrated over small things with small details.
the lack of communication shows it all,
this was the group that was wanted and somehow all these just had to happen.
oh boy, am I not surprised.

oh yes.
I'll be entering the 'Tuesday' category already.
long gone will be the 'Monday' category.

oh wells.

Date : Saturday, August 15, 2009
Time : 1:19 am

the whole conversation
was something different to the usuals that we usually have

a whole lot different

Date : Friday, August 14, 2009
Time : 11:26 pm

now I can say I'm almost assignment free
all that is left is the paperwork for Cam & Light
get the location released signed, arrange the papers and good for submission

falling back into the film photography,
right back to the basics.

the things that I indulge myself in to keep myself occupied,
are the things that you love to do.
I don't know what more can I do.

Date : Thursday, August 13, 2009
Time : 12:43 am

this will be one of the longest night that I will ever be going through
i really do not know what to expect
a mix of anticipation and fear

):

Date : Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Time : 11:35 pm

if you know me well enough and trust me
I will get it done for you
maybe what's needed to more experience in PR
.not at this hour.

oh wells

Date :
Time : 2:05 pm

worrying for you non-stop
your grades, your assignments

):

Date : Monday, August 10, 2009
Time : 3:21 pm

I have already found her
and that's you

Date :
Time : 10:51 am

the feel of emptiness inside of me
I do not know what to do
I just feel so lost

trying my best not to break down, yet again
but it feels so hard

I need you
I miss you

Date : Sunday, August 09, 2009
Time : 2:07 am

crying myself to sleep

I honestly want it to continue, to carry on.
there's so much more to it. much more

Date :
Time : 1:05 am

I know what I want and I am not running away from it.

Sleep early.
Good nights.

Date : Thursday, August 06, 2009
Time : 11:51 pm

taking things along as they go;
i guess.

film history; Camera and Lighting tests coming up
both theory based
both 25% worth of my final grades
both one day apart
kill me please

I hate theory modules to the very max.

Date :
Time : 3:55 am

everything is hanging in its own balance
not knowing what to expect

Date :
Time : 1:41 am

i just got thrown back into confusion.

Date : Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Time : 9:57 am

having dinner at 4am and all
having to settle soc psy and cam&light
now I know the feeling of wanting everything done perfectly cause grades are at stake
sleeping realy close to 5am and waking up at 7.30am
kill me please

I'm damn tired and cranky.
so please don't irritate me today.

Date : Monday, August 03, 2009
Time : 1:30 am

in 10 years,
perhaps just perhaps;
the students from FMS FSV Class of 2011 will be running NDP.
from the director to producer to Cameras to lighting to grips.

why so?
went for the preview and the camera work and directing was terrible
oh wells.

maybe. really just maybe.

nights

Date : Saturday, August 01, 2009
Time : 2:06 am

sometimes I really wonder why do I bother so much.
after all, the decision made isn't mine.
all I can do is just do what I can do;
and that is give advice
thats all
sigh