Huang Yixi Vicson

Date : Monday, April 14, 2008
Time : 3:36 pm

woke up at freaking 6am, and left home at 6:30am.

was on the train deciding if i should take the train all the way to clementi or to eunos then take bus.

but by the time i reached eunos, it was 7.

so didnt want to risk taking the bus.

guess i will just take the bus on late days. see how it goes.

well, apparently, my class ended at 10am.

8am - 10am.

so kinda slacked around and waited for the rest.

lunched. and up till now still slacking.

waiting for the rest to finish their lectures and stuff.

might be going out for dinner with them. see how it goes.

I know. i know it has been one year. plenty of things have happened. be it happy or sad, or maybe in my point of view, stupidity. I really do not know; on how i should be feeling right now. some how. i just don't feel the same as last time, or rather for the recent past few months.

maybe its just that I have not recovered from the blow that I received, in december. It is not as simple as it seems to be. I can still remember the feeling. The feelings of losing the trust that I placed in you, and all your assuring words.

But apparently, not one single word kept its promise. It is the losing of trust that was most hurting. Some how I was expecting that to happen, but i didn't thought that it would really happen. I was wrong about it.

The feelings that caused me to punch the wall, the feelings that caused me to kick the wall.

the same feelings that forced me to punch and kick my bed when you told me the news, and my mum thought something happened downstairs. at 2 am.

No. I am not a violent person, as what you have read. I do not go around punching or kicking walls or people. It was just that I had to vent my frustration, on something.

Truth is I would be lying if I say I Love You, cause its just doesn't seems the case.

I am still in the midst of finding that feeling again.

Losing it once, due to own reason was bad enough.

But losing it twice, or rather again, due to certain incidents that happened.

Its, should I say, heartbreaking?

I am trying my best, really and I am hoping for the best outcome.

19:47 later on, and it will be officially one year to us.

FLIGHTer 17^Vicson